I am kind of all over in my thoughts right now I am just despite to get them all out. I am sorry if this post is very disjointed, reading this may help you understand where my mind has been at over the past couple of weeks. And why besides the U2 concert I have been on the verge of tears for days.
Every time I change my clothes I ask Michael " Do I look different? I am different right? My body is changing? Can you tell? I think my bum looks smaller, what do you think?" Poor guy, he just keeps saying, "yes babe, you look different, you look great!"
Over the past couple of months I have been really wondering why I need such compliments and on the other hand why are so many people so tight lipped about giving compliments? I have a feeling it has something to do with competitiveness and our need to be better then the next person. Maybe when it comes right down to it's all about our own insecurities. Am I that person? I sure hope not, I hope I make people feel great. But now I must challenge myself to make sure I am paying complements where compliments are due. I also must learn to not need validation from others but from God and my own successes and know that the goal I am striving for is a long and happy life and that is the reward and is better then anything anyone could say.
Let me say this past week has been a huge challenge for me in the food department and staying on track. But I have been working out so I am proud of that. With the challenges I have faced this week it became very clear to me how much the environment and the people I surround myself with can tear me down or build me up on this journey. I am sad that not everyone I love is on this page with me. But now I have some idea what it must have felt like for people like my brother Jeff who is an athlete in every sense of the word to watch me sit on the couch while he went out and ran the Boston Marathon.
Jeff and my cousin Rich ran the Calgary marathon last Sunday and I went and cheered them on. I was struck by the pure passion of the runners. I could not get over how much I desire that type of passion. The great thing is I feel it stirring in my soul. Finally, in 32 years I feel like I am on the right track, and the verge of greatness in my life. I am so excited to see where God is leading our little family and my first thought when I think and pray about our lives moving forward is how much more exercise can I do. And what kind of exercise can I do to switch things up. Honestly I don't feel like I am doing enough and I crave more. I cannot believe that our life changing experiences are driven by exercise.
In the same token I am desperately grieving for people who can’t be stirred to action. People who can’t see others passions and be moved to there feet and see hope and joy in life. I know those people are in a different place life then I am at in my life but I pray for you. I pray God stirs you all to your feet, so when he calls us home you can run in to His arms.
